My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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