What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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