Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
