i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
