Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
