omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
