i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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