And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize