I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
