I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
