And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
