Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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