uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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