I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
