And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
