Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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