that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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