Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
