Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize