I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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