My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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