3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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