I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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