Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
lets start a swedish sibling band together
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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