I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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