she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
