i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
