The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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