Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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