Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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