Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
