yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
