Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We named our party play list daddy issues
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
