I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
