before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
