Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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