Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
