I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
