My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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