First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
we made out on top of his cat.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
