What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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