Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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