Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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