The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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