All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
