We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
