I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize