What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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