Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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