Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
