my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
