You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
