I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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