he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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