come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
