I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
being pregnant is like rehab
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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