Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
