took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
